When considering anything "extreme," phrases like "The absolute most___" or "The absolute best/worst____" are often thrown about without much consideration. Before a person ever utters the words: this was the "most," "best," or "worst," I would suggest pausing a moment and considering if there is any weight to what they are saying.
After watching HC2, which is a movie that is undeniably "extreme," I decided to compare it to my personal list of "most," "worst," and "best," of the last decade to see how it stacks up:
Most terrifying: Insidious
Most disturbing: The Road
Most disgusting: Jackass 3D
Best horror movie: Pan's Labyrinth
Worst movie period: Adam Sandler's Click
HC2 absolutely doesn't really fit into any of those categories for me, which I think is significant, especially when considering the movie is being labeled by many critics as "The worst movie of the year," which it absolutely isn't.
A few months ago (before I'd decided whether or not I should watch HC2) my friend rented some romantic comedy called "Friends with Benefits." I watched about 20 minutes of it, and this movie was so devoid of ambition, and so agonizingly mediocre I quickly decided I'd much rather see a movie where someone gets raped with barbed wire than a movie like that one.
It is absolutely not fair or accurate to describe HC2 as the "worst" movie of the year. A movie with ambition, regardless of the result, should never be compared to movies with no drive, no artistry, and no desire to be anything but a quick and disposable cash-grab.
So Is HC2 the "most" of anything? Yes. It is the "most" tasteless and excessive movie I have ever seen in my life. (I'm not going to try to moralize that one way or another. It is what it is.)
I've read a lot of reviews for HC2 already, and so I decided that if I wrote one, that mine should try to focus on things that haven't been said already. Some reviewers say the movie is a jab at horror movie fans, others say it was a jab at people who think horror movies cause violence, and others say it is a big "Fuck You!" to everyone who complained about the first Human Centipede so much.
So was it any of those things? I don't know what is in writer/director Tom Six's head, and I'm not going to try to guess. All that matters is the experience of the viewer.
The movie is very difficult to watch. I cringed nearly throughout. I yelled, I howled, at points I even convulsed, but throughout the entire ordeal I also laughed really hard. As disgusting as this movie was, it is filled with some very dark, and very funny humor. If it wasn't for this strand of obscene comedy running throughout the film I would not have been able to make it all the way through, and the experience would have left me feeling awful about myself. (I am guessing if you find yourself watching HC2 you are either in on the joke, or you have had the tragic misfortune of renting this movie on accident.)
I personally don't even know if I can say I liked The Human Centipede 2. I will never watch it again. I will never recommend it...The best thing I can really say about it is that I am now very excited about The Human Centipede 3; and that is about the highest praise I think I could ever give a movie like The Human Centipede 2.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
2011 Review
I love making "best of" and "worst of lists" and I love comparing them with the lists of others, so here is my best of/worst of movie list for 2011.
Best of 2011:
1. Insidious- This is the scariest movie I have seen in theaters since The Blair Witch project, and the scariest movie I have seen since renting movies like Hellraiser 1 & 2, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I feel like whatever shortcomings this movie has, have to be overshadowed by how scary it is. I think the hardest thing in the world is to scare people who have already seen hundreds of horror movies. Every scare in this movie is well constructed and well thought out. The film hits you with two huge jump scares and then leaves on the edge of your seat for the the duration.
There was almost a mechanical quality to the way most of the scares are set up. Spots where jump scares are usually placed are only false alarms, and often followed immediately by the real scare, like a boxer throwing a feint and then following it up with a hay-maker. A woman lulls you into a trance by telling a dreamlike story and then you are snapped back by getting a jump-scare of a terrifying demon behind the protagonist's head. Some scenes go nowhere at all, leaving the audience completely guessing as to when the next huge scare will be.
I've never seen another movie with legitimate scares so technically crafted.
2. Hobo with a Shotgun- This movie is both sleazy and fun. There is no balance however. When it is sleazy it makes you feel disgusting, and when it is fun it is just awesome to watch. Drake, his two sons, and "The Plague" are the best movie villains of the year. Rutger Hauer gives a very impressive performance for a movie most people wouldn't even consider worth making. Fans of this movie seem to say this tops Grindhouse. I think that is pushing it.
3. Valhalla Rising- This year seemed to be a big coming out party for director Nicolas Refn. Unfortunately I didn't have the cash to see "Drive" in theaters. Valhalla Rising is a fascinating film that sucks you in and leaves you wondering what you saw for weeks afterward. A movie about faith and a descent into madness. Overall very impressive. My biggest complaint were the ungodly awful blood splatters added in post-production.
4. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil- a horror comedy with a lot of heart. The funniest movie I've seen in recent memory.
5. Attack the Block- fantastic characters with depth, great creature design, humor, and a fun story. This is a movie that people are going to talk about for years to come.
6. Troll Hunter- amazing creature design, fantastic special effects, clever writing, and great humor. The pace seems to drag a bit as you never really get a sense of where the movie is going until the final confrontation with the giant troll. The bumbling government official suddenly becomes a serious threat to the film crew at the end of the movie which is an annoying plot-hole. Overall very good.
7. Rise of the Planet of the Apes- By the end of this movie I wanted the apes to kill every person on the planet! Very solid and exciting. I would have been happier if they had delivered some more violence and some actual gore.
8. The Last Circus- The most original movie I have seen all year. The pacing is problematic, as again, you have no idea where the movie is going. What was the purpose of the story? What was the point? I have no fucking clue; I just sat back and enjoyed the parade of ridiculousness.
9. Final Destination 5- This might be becoming my favorite horror franchise. These movies are just a lot of fun. Wooden one-dimensional characters eviscerated for our viewing pleasure. There is a lot of talk about the opening scene, but for me the biggest highlight was the scene with the gymnast.
10. Stake Land- The best vampire movie I have seen since 30 Days of Night. Similar to "The Road" but thankfully not as dark or depressing. The highlight of the movie is where vampires are used as weapons by being tossed out of helicopters. Pretty brutal!
Honorable mention:
Fast Five- Are franchises allowed to get better as they go on? The first two movies are probably not even worth watching. The series picks up with Tokyo Drift, and now this installment which is probably the best of the bunch. This is a movie that has all the makings of a complete disaster. Nearly every character from the entire series is brought back and given a role and it somehow works masterfully. How is that freaking possible? This movie should have been shit and it wasn't. Consider me seriously impressed. My only complaint? No Michelle Rodriguez! Boo!
Super 8- A fun movie that makes me wish I had a girlfriend when I was in middle school. The kids are the best parts of this movie. The worst part were the overwrought emotions. Spielberg's way of trying to force the audience into a particular emotion is almost insulting.
I Saw the Devil- I didn't necessarily enjoy this movie. It is a purposeless revenge film with disgusting and over the top violence. The secondary characters are little more than cardboard cutouts and some of the scenes are lifted directly from American movies. For instance dogs tearing at human body parts is a harrowing image, but in this instance lifted directly from Watchmen. In Watchmen it is used to imply something horrid without actually showing it. In this movie it it is just a horrid image. However the cat and mouse game between the killer and the policeman is intriguing. The stabbing in the taxi cab is probably the single best scene in any movie I have seen all year.
Worst of 2011:
1. Snow Beast- a movie about Yeti that is more about people talking about their feelings than it is about people getting killed by snow beasts. When people get killed they are usually scratched lightly on the cheek and then fall over dead. Horrible pacing, terrible characters, and non-existent special effects. The topper? You can see the line in the back of the Yeti costume where it zips up. Shameful.
2. Colin- A nearly unwatchable zombie movie, and as far as zombie movies go that is really saying something. So boring I almost turned it off.
3. Rubber- Pretentious and boring. The movie begins with a car lightly knocking over chairs for no reason, and goes straight downhill from that low-point.
4. Chawz- I don't understand Korean movies. I don't understand the tone or the humor in them. This "giant animal gone mad" movie starts of strong and descends into a garbled mess. Why do Asian film-makers seem hell-bent on shoehorning in a 4th and 5th act into their movie that has nothing to do with the rest of the plot?
5. Black Death- This movie seems to promise some supernatural shenanigans but delivers none of it. All that stuff you thought was supernatural was all a red-herring. I hated that; the red-herrings were more of a cock-tease to me than a clever plot twist. If I have a choice between a movie about the supernatural and an atheistic world-view I'll take the supernatural every time. The worst part of the movie is the epilogue where the protagonist instantly switches from a meager monk into a blood thirsty inquisitor. It changes the entire tone of the movie without serving any purpose whatsoever. On the plus-side Sean Bean delivers a strong performance. I think he deserves better parts than the one this movie affords him.
Best of 2011:
1. Insidious- This is the scariest movie I have seen in theaters since The Blair Witch project, and the scariest movie I have seen since renting movies like Hellraiser 1 & 2, and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I feel like whatever shortcomings this movie has, have to be overshadowed by how scary it is. I think the hardest thing in the world is to scare people who have already seen hundreds of horror movies. Every scare in this movie is well constructed and well thought out. The film hits you with two huge jump scares and then leaves on the edge of your seat for the the duration.
There was almost a mechanical quality to the way most of the scares are set up. Spots where jump scares are usually placed are only false alarms, and often followed immediately by the real scare, like a boxer throwing a feint and then following it up with a hay-maker. A woman lulls you into a trance by telling a dreamlike story and then you are snapped back by getting a jump-scare of a terrifying demon behind the protagonist's head. Some scenes go nowhere at all, leaving the audience completely guessing as to when the next huge scare will be.
I've never seen another movie with legitimate scares so technically crafted.
2. Hobo with a Shotgun- This movie is both sleazy and fun. There is no balance however. When it is sleazy it makes you feel disgusting, and when it is fun it is just awesome to watch. Drake, his two sons, and "The Plague" are the best movie villains of the year. Rutger Hauer gives a very impressive performance for a movie most people wouldn't even consider worth making. Fans of this movie seem to say this tops Grindhouse. I think that is pushing it.
3. Valhalla Rising- This year seemed to be a big coming out party for director Nicolas Refn. Unfortunately I didn't have the cash to see "Drive" in theaters. Valhalla Rising is a fascinating film that sucks you in and leaves you wondering what you saw for weeks afterward. A movie about faith and a descent into madness. Overall very impressive. My biggest complaint were the ungodly awful blood splatters added in post-production.
4. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil- a horror comedy with a lot of heart. The funniest movie I've seen in recent memory.
5. Attack the Block- fantastic characters with depth, great creature design, humor, and a fun story. This is a movie that people are going to talk about for years to come.
6. Troll Hunter- amazing creature design, fantastic special effects, clever writing, and great humor. The pace seems to drag a bit as you never really get a sense of where the movie is going until the final confrontation with the giant troll. The bumbling government official suddenly becomes a serious threat to the film crew at the end of the movie which is an annoying plot-hole. Overall very good.
7. Rise of the Planet of the Apes- By the end of this movie I wanted the apes to kill every person on the planet! Very solid and exciting. I would have been happier if they had delivered some more violence and some actual gore.
8. The Last Circus- The most original movie I have seen all year. The pacing is problematic, as again, you have no idea where the movie is going. What was the purpose of the story? What was the point? I have no fucking clue; I just sat back and enjoyed the parade of ridiculousness.
9. Final Destination 5- This might be becoming my favorite horror franchise. These movies are just a lot of fun. Wooden one-dimensional characters eviscerated for our viewing pleasure. There is a lot of talk about the opening scene, but for me the biggest highlight was the scene with the gymnast.
10. Stake Land- The best vampire movie I have seen since 30 Days of Night. Similar to "The Road" but thankfully not as dark or depressing. The highlight of the movie is where vampires are used as weapons by being tossed out of helicopters. Pretty brutal!
Honorable mention:
Fast Five- Are franchises allowed to get better as they go on? The first two movies are probably not even worth watching. The series picks up with Tokyo Drift, and now this installment which is probably the best of the bunch. This is a movie that has all the makings of a complete disaster. Nearly every character from the entire series is brought back and given a role and it somehow works masterfully. How is that freaking possible? This movie should have been shit and it wasn't. Consider me seriously impressed. My only complaint? No Michelle Rodriguez! Boo!
Super 8- A fun movie that makes me wish I had a girlfriend when I was in middle school. The kids are the best parts of this movie. The worst part were the overwrought emotions. Spielberg's way of trying to force the audience into a particular emotion is almost insulting.
I Saw the Devil- I didn't necessarily enjoy this movie. It is a purposeless revenge film with disgusting and over the top violence. The secondary characters are little more than cardboard cutouts and some of the scenes are lifted directly from American movies. For instance dogs tearing at human body parts is a harrowing image, but in this instance lifted directly from Watchmen. In Watchmen it is used to imply something horrid without actually showing it. In this movie it it is just a horrid image. However the cat and mouse game between the killer and the policeman is intriguing. The stabbing in the taxi cab is probably the single best scene in any movie I have seen all year.
Worst of 2011:
1. Snow Beast- a movie about Yeti that is more about people talking about their feelings than it is about people getting killed by snow beasts. When people get killed they are usually scratched lightly on the cheek and then fall over dead. Horrible pacing, terrible characters, and non-existent special effects. The topper? You can see the line in the back of the Yeti costume where it zips up. Shameful.
2. Colin- A nearly unwatchable zombie movie, and as far as zombie movies go that is really saying something. So boring I almost turned it off.
3. Rubber- Pretentious and boring. The movie begins with a car lightly knocking over chairs for no reason, and goes straight downhill from that low-point.
4. Chawz- I don't understand Korean movies. I don't understand the tone or the humor in them. This "giant animal gone mad" movie starts of strong and descends into a garbled mess. Why do Asian film-makers seem hell-bent on shoehorning in a 4th and 5th act into their movie that has nothing to do with the rest of the plot?
5. Black Death- This movie seems to promise some supernatural shenanigans but delivers none of it. All that stuff you thought was supernatural was all a red-herring. I hated that; the red-herrings were more of a cock-tease to me than a clever plot twist. If I have a choice between a movie about the supernatural and an atheistic world-view I'll take the supernatural every time. The worst part of the movie is the epilogue where the protagonist instantly switches from a meager monk into a blood thirsty inquisitor. It changes the entire tone of the movie without serving any purpose whatsoever. On the plus-side Sean Bean delivers a strong performance. I think he deserves better parts than the one this movie affords him.
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